Unforgotten Memories
by justyouraveragewriter44
Summary: Sometimes we may lose the things we love most, But the memories of them will never disappear. {Told in Levi's POV}


I remember everything clearly. Every moment with her as if they all only happened yesterday. I remember the day I first saw her. I was being introduced to the Scouting Regiment by Commander Erwin, along with my allies, Furlan and Isabel. Everyone in the regiment looked at us as if we were a parasite. Everyone except her. She looked at us thru her glasses not with disdain, but curiosity. She didn't look at us like the underground thugs we were, she looked at us as if she could tell there was something special in us, something we couldn't even see ourselves. What did I feel seeing that in her eyes? irritation.

I didn't properly meet her until a few days later, on my first expedition outside the walls with the Regiment. She immediately came up to me, wide toothed grin on her face and introduced herself to me; stating her name was Hanji. All I did was snub her. Months passed and although I showed no interest in getting to know her, she wouldn't give up. She was relentless. After awhile I pretended to listen every now and then hoping it'd get her off my back, but instead it just fired her up more. Eventually I did start to get to know her. We were assigned to the same missions most of the time so that gave her plenty of time to talk. One of the first things I learned was that she was a scientist and a researcher, and that she had an obsession over the titans. After missions and Exhibitions she would tell me everything she learned about the titans. Although some things made my gut wrench, everything she learned always had a big impact in learning how to defeat the titans. Soon she started trying to learn more about me. At first I wouldn't tell her anything. To think how cold and cruel I must've seemed to her back then. But eventually I started telling her little things; then before I knew it I began telling her more personal things, I have never told anyone before. Soon after I could feel a bond of trust form between us. Eventually I found out the hard way that She was quite an unkempt slob. Her room was always a mess, and she wouldn't bathe for long periods at a time. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and cleaned Her room for her. Only to have all my hard work destroyed by the next morning.

It wasn't until the death of my friends Isabel and Furlan, that I noticed something changing in our relationship. I took their deaths harder than I let on. I kept a straight bored face and acted like I barely cared, when in reality; their deaths stung more than I ever wanted to admit.

Hanji saw through my ruse. She came to my room one day and confronted me about it. I didn't say anything, but when she she saw that I didn't want to talk about it she didn't push it; instead she walked up to me and hugged me. I wasn't expecting this. After she let me go she headed out the door; but before she left, she turned back and looked at me. "Y'know whenever You're feeling down or upset, you can always come to me."

And after that, that's exactly what I did. Although she annoyed and disgusted me on numerous occasions with her untidyness and psychotic bursts of energy, she was the only person I felt as if I could trust with anything. After a while I found myself thinking about her alot in my free time. And eventually I began getting distracted from my work because of her. It stopped being a chore to clean up after her, It turned into a normal part of the day. One thing I could never get passed was her Bathing habits. Sometimes she would go a month without bathing. It got so bad that one day I just grabbed her and bathed her myself as if she was a child. You would think that would be awkward, but it wasn't.. I was so focused on getting all that disgusting filth off, It didn't really register what I was doing. And Hanji just went along with it as if it was nothing.

Haji filled my thoughts so much It became that all I ever thought about was exterminating the titans and her. For the longest I couldn't understand why that psychotic four eyed slob was all I could think about. Then I found the answer after the failed 57th expedition, when my entire squad was killed. At that time I blamed myself for their deaths. I was the leader and I didn't protect them. I thought I would never forgive myself. Then while I was at their graves one day Hanji showed up. She paid her respects to them then looked me in the eye. "It's not your fault Levi, there was nothing you could do. Don't blame yourself. None of them would want that." She told me In the softest, calm voice I had ever heard come out of her mouth. Then I felt her thumb rub across my cheek bone, wiping away a tear I didn't even realize I was shedding. She pulled my head down to her chest and held me close. Before I knew it, more tears came and started falling from my eyes. this was the first time anyone has ever seen me cry. This, was also the moment when I realized why Hanji was always on my mind: Because I had fallen in love with her.

I didn't say anything to her about how I felt for a long time. The day I finally planned to tell her I stood behind her in her room, while she was at her desk studying titans. I stared at her for the longest trying to find the right words, but I couldn't find them. After a while She finally noticed. She turned around in her chair and looked up at me, a first since I'm shorter than her.

"Why are you looking at me like that shorty? Is there something on my face?" She asked me.

Instead of answering her I bent forward, grabbed her face with my hands and kissed her. She stiffened up at my sudden gesture. After a few moments, I moved my lips off of hers and looked in her eyes waiting to see her response. Instead of pushing me off like I thought; she smiled wrapped her arms around my neck pulled me back down and kissed me back.

We kept our relationship secret from the rest of the Regiment for the longest; but just like any secret, it came out eventually.

Seven years ago we got married. I remember her in that white dress, clean. Her hair in a neat bun instead of the usual messy ponytail. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I let one of my rare smiles form on my face. I truly couldn't have been happier.

Now a few weeks ago I had been injured the in an exhibition. It wasn't life threatening, but I had broken my arm thus I couldn't hold one of my swords.

This morning I was scowling as I watched the rest of the scout regiment begin to head out on the exhibition. Then I felt Haji's arms wrap around me from behind. "Don't worry, You'll be back out there killing those titans in no time." I looked at her and pouted a little trying to make her laugh; I succeeded. "I better get going before they leave me behind." She kissed me softly for about 3 seconds. "I love you."

Little did I know that that was going to be the last kiss she'd ever give me.

I watched as the scout regiment returned a few hours later. They all had grim faces, meaning it didn't go as well as they hoped. I looked around for Hanji so I could ask her what all happened, but she was nowhere to be found. I headed over to the medical tent thinking she'd be there helping wounded comrads or getting patched up herself. But she wasn't there either. I saw Erwin on my way home. I went up to him. "Hey Erwin, have you seen Hanji?" Erwin hung his head and handed me something. My heart stopped as I saw what it was: hanji's goggles, broken and covered in blood.

My world fell apart as I took the goggles in my hand. All of my memories of her started flooding into my mind. And I realized, I was never gonna see her again, never gonna get to hold her and kiss her again, never get to tell her I love her again. Never get to see that wide smile, or hear her laugh. Never get to put my fingers in her unruly hair, never hear her enthuse about titans, never get to see those bright brown eyes look at me ever again.

I'm not one to show emotion much in public, but I couldn't stop myself this time. I clenched the goggles in my hand, hung my head and started sobbing.

I wanted this to be all just some horrific nightmare, I wanted to just wake up from it all and see hanji sleeping right next to me. But I won't, because it's not a dream. Part of me wanted to give up. To just stop fighting titans all together and just...die. But I couldn't. I knew Hanji wouldn't want me to think that way, she'd want me to keep fighting. To find a way to stop the titans from hurting anyone else. And I will keep fighting, I will fight till the bitter end. But even so, knowing Hanji would want me to keep fighting is not the main reason why I will still do it. I fight because I still have something to fight for. I still have something I need to protect. Something Hanji gave me five long years ago...

"_Daddy?"_

* * *

My train of thought it broken as I hear a small voice calling me when I enter my home. I turn around and see a little girl, with brown unruly hair in pigtails. Her big grey eyes looked up at me thru glasses that were too big for her face. _Hanji's glasses._

_"_Kira? You're home early. I thought your friends mom was dropping you off later today. Is everything okay?" I ask her

"Everything's fine. I just missed you and mommy." Kira smiled "so do you know when mommy's coming home Daddy?"

A sad, painful look forms on my face as I kneel down to her height, hiding hanji's broken goggles behind my back so she wouldn't see them. "Mommy's not ever coming home." I told her

Kira's smile faded "why not?"

"She left trying to keep you safe."

"From what?"

"Something bad. "

Tears formed in Kira's eyes "But... I'll miss her daddy."

I wipe away her tears from under her glasses with my thumb. I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears in them that are threatening to fall, then I place a kiss her forehead. "I'll miss her too."


End file.
